Thursday, March 15, 2007


A Confederacy of Dunces
By John Kennedy Toole

I had read a synopsis of A Confederacy of Dunces soon after commenter's to my blog made statements that my story was a rip-off of this book. Unfortunately for these dunces, mine is a true story, not a story only influenced by my experiences. Interestingly, within the synopsis, if I remember correctly, is described a brawl involving lesbians. I think that perhaps I unknowingly got into a brawl involving lesbians. For some strange reason, although I do not believe that she is a lesbian, Stephanie Jumonville comes to mind.

I can remember the first lesbian that I ever met. Her name was Patty, and she was in her early twenties. (I was about 17, and sex was not only still mostly a mystery to me, it was also a mystery that I felt no great passion to unravel.) Patty regularly ate breakfast at Pete’s restaurant on West Shore Road in Warwick, R.I. Although I was not present for the drama, what I heard was that she had been eating breakfast and a guy sitting next to her asked her: ‘Hey buddy, you got a light?’ I understand the guy asked her again, accompanied by a tap on her shoulder. Pat grasped the lapels of her jeans jacket, pulled them aside, thrust out her chest, and stated: ‘Look pal, I’m a girl.’ This story was told for quite a while. Prior to my meeting Pat, my friend Billy had told me that she was a lesbian. I did not understand, at the moment that he told me, what this meant. After a while I figured it out.

Soon thereafter I met Patty. I can recall being intrigued. She was obviously a female and there was no sign on her head, or badge on her jacket, that said ‘Hi, I’m Patty and I am a lesbian.’ I found her to be friendly. Soon thereafter, some days or weeks after meeting her, she asked if I would help her and her girlfriend move their possessions from one apartment to another. I agreed. Not only did I agree because I liked her, I agreed because I wanted to meet her girlfriend. Her girlfriend was also kind of a disappointment as she had no sign on her head or badge on her jacket. I also found her girlfriend to be pleasant.

I just read the biography of Mr. Toole. He happens to be buried at the Greenwood Cemetery in New Orleans. Coincidentally, this is the cemetery where I built the brick columns that I was proud of having built. Within one of these columns, stuffed within a core hole of a brick and mortared in well, is a dollar bill wrapped in cellophane from a cigarette package, on which my wife and I wrote out that we loved one another. My wife happened to visit me on the site while I was building the columns. These are the same columns that I showed Naomi Nichols, and then later, Aurelio.

Aurelio is from Riverside, California. While at Loyola Aurelio had a friend named Daniel. I recall Aurelio did not have an automobile, whereas Daniel did. I remember this as Aurelio had mentioned it on the day I had taken Aurelio around and about. We stopped at Arby’s for lunch. Aurelio mentioned that when he and Daniel went around exploring the greater New Orleans area Daniel’s favorite place to eat lunch was at Arby’s. There were some discount coupons available at Arby’s and Aurelio took a couple of these coupons for Daniel, stating that he would like them.

What the hell is the point of this post, I don't know.

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